13. Top Ten Things Said To Cows

Whilst milking the other day, and thinking about what I should write about for the next blog post, it occurred to me to do a regular David Letterman style top ten.

Today's list is the top ten things said to cows, those of you who work with cows may recognise some of the terminology! 

10.   'Good Morn-yawn-ing' (when seeing cows for the first time at 4:15am)

9.   'Come on girly-wurlys!' (if you are my boss, David)

8.   'Stand still, Staaaaaaand still, stand still, STAND STILL!' (when trying to milk a particularly kicky cow)

7.   'Come on girls, Cooooome on, In you come, Come on, Push on, COOOOOMMME ONNNNNNNN, PUSH ON, COME ON GIRLS, PUSH UP PUSH UP PUSH UP, COME ON, IN YOU COME, PUSH UP, COME ON GIRLS, COME ON GIRLS, IN YOU COME, PUSH UP, PUSH UP, COME ON' (when rowing cows up for milking)

6.   '♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫' (whistling when hoarse from shouting)

5.    'MOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!' (when they are not doing so, first half of word is in cow language so they definitely understand)

4.   '****' (when cow goes the wrong way somewhere)

3.   '****' (when cow stands on your foot)

2.   '****' (when kicked)

1.   '****' (when **** on)

Well the major news here is that Daniel has returned from Ireland full of Heineken (not a Guinness drinker - I know strange huh?). Which means Dana has now left, I drove her up to Omarama to catch her backpackers bus and continue on her exploration of NZ. The weather was great and the perfect blue sky meant driving conditions were excellent. On the way back I decided to make a detour to Danseys Pass, I had seen the road sign for it and was curious.

But before that I stopped off for a steak sandwich and a Speight's in Kurow. In the pub there, suitably decorated with photos of Richie McCaw and the flags of all the participating nations of the 2011 world cup, I got chatting to one of the most interesting and legendary people I have met in NZ so far.

For starters he looked like a retired pirate, big black bushy beard, long straggly hair, a very odd shapeless hat that looked like it was made of canvas and he genuinely had a gold hoop earring in one ear.
He sat there with a jug of dark ale and a very small glass that he took very rare sips from, I think he was trying to make the jug last all afternoon. He asked me where I was from, and was at first very suspicious until I explained that I was working on a dairy farm not too far away. It turns out he was in fact a retired cowboy, not a pirate. He said he had spent 26 years on a horse, mustering cattle in Australia and now moves from town to town every few months around NZ in a cart pulled by two horses. Apparently one of his horses had died so he had stayed in Kurow for longer than usual while he looked for a replacement. He uses solar panels and I think he said a 12ft battery, to power his radio and DVD player. He had a lot of useful bits of advice, not for travelling around NZ but for life generally. I don't think any of them could be repeated on here!

Anyway I got to Danseys Pass, which has now become my favourite road to drive anywhere in the world. It has a sign at the start that says whether or not the road is open to vehicles because it could get seriously dangerous in adverse weather conditions. It follows the Maerewhenua River for a while before rising high, very high, above it. I found a great spot to go fly fishing, I have a few months to get all the gear and license before the seasons starts in November.

The gravel road above the river offers some awesome views.

I had a few hairy moments while taking photos of the scenery and driving round some cliff edge corners. Thankfully an Italian Job ending did not happen.

On the way back I drove past a bit of venison chilling in a well grazed paddock, it still seems odd to me despite the large amount of deer farming in the area. The second photo is from a few weeks ago when a couple of overly friendly beasts came to say hello.

Righto, that'll be all for now. I'll be back soon.