33. The Road to Hobbiton - Day 4

Day 4

The day in numbers:

208 km driven. 92 km on a ferry

Islands of NZ been on: 2

1 serious Lord of the Rings geek-out.

Inches from the William Webb Ellis Cup: 4

Song lyrics from my homemade 'Best of Coldplay' CD memorised: All of them.

The Day 4 map:

H - Picton. I - Wellington. J - Palmerston North

After waking up everyone in my hostel dorm room at 5 am, I set off bleary eyed to the ferry terminal. The sun was just about rising as we boarded and a very warm wind was blowing.

Once the ferry got going and I had eaten a long-awaited breakfast that did not live up to its expectations. I went out on deck to watch the Marlborough Sounds go by. Apart from the sound of the ferry engines it was eerily quiet. If it was a movie, a disaster would definitely be imminent. At the very least I would expect an attack from a sea-monster.

The journey took about three hours, during which I had a nap, nearly lost a flip-flop overboard and wondered if I remembered to put the handbrake on, we reached Wellington at about half 9ish. The weather was best described as OK, a bit grey but warm enough to wear shorts. It was not as windy as I had read in the guide book, which said 'windy Welly' was always very windy.

After a surprisingly fast disembarkment, I found myself driving into the centre of Wellington having not looked at a map and feeling dozy from my nap. Eventually after some horrendous driving I found a multi-story car-park and drove up to level K before I found a space that wasn't reserved. I had to maneuver the car around a particularly poorly placed concrete pillar, on which was a multi-coloured pattern of scraped car paint. Thankfully I didn't add to it.

I wondered around the city for about 20 minutes before remembering that I don't really like cities at all, and I was a bit bored already. I looked in the guide book and saw 'The Weta Cave', the studios and workshops where they make props and costumes for films, including 'District 9', 'King Kong' and obviously all six Lord of the Rings and Hobbit movies!

I paid just $20 to get on a tour round the workshop where they make the props and costumes. It was genuinely fascinating, In the area where the tour took place, they had $23 million worth of stuff from films. Most of it was weapons, think lots of swords, bows and arrows and a few maces. They make most of the props out of very expensive even density plastic, that I forget the name of. A piece of it needed to make a normal sized gun costs over $5000 I think she said.

Unfortunately, photos were banned because the film studios still own the image rights of anything made for the movies. I could take a few photos in the foyer bit of it though! If you are not a fan of Lord of the Rings, then excuse my geekiness, but also, what is wrong with you?!

These are some genuine hobbit feet, donated by a hobbit who recently passed away.

The fans among you may recognise this as helmet from Minis Tirith. The detail and craftsmanship is actually very impressive. In the age of high definition and 3D cinema, the props and costumes have to be able to withstand the harshest of scrutiny. 

 This is Lurtz, a big noise in the orc world. That model stands at about 9 feet. I think he has got an air of Sebastian Chabal about him (google him if you don't know who he is)!

I find it all fascinating anyway.

After being a big nerd for a while I left the city and drove North to Palmerston North. There is a Palmerston in the South near where I live, which I assume is the reason for North in the name. There seemed to be quite a big veg growing industry that I drove through. For about 10 miles I could just smell onions, which made me hungry.

At Palmy North, as it is sometimes irritatingly called, my first stop was obviously the New Zealand Rugby Museum, which was re-done for the 2011 world cup. The highlights were some great vintage kit:

This old scrum cap looks like what medieval knights used to wear under their helmets.

 And I am disappointed today's rugger jerseys don't have leather lace-ups!

Also I don't think there are enough straw boaters around in the modern game!

The main highlight was seeing the William Webb Ellis Cup, which the All Blacks just about got their grubby paws on in 2011. 

I checked into my hostel, had a few beers and a t-bone steak that was thicker than the mattress I was sleeping on. I didn't know how big a 700 gram steak was, turns out it is 24 ounces. It had all the trimmings with it too, and was a serious feed. 

Righto, that'll do for Day 4, speak soon.

32. The Road to Hobbiton - Day 3

Day 3

The day in numbers:

481 km driven.

Wrong turns taken: 12.

100+ Rented camper-vans overtaken.

Trees seen: >1,000,000,000,000,000.

1^st outing for the Lord of the Rings soundtrack. 

It has been suggested to me to include maps showing where I have been, because many of you will not have a clue where the places I mention are. This hadn't occurred to me and in hindsight seems very obvious! So here is the latest map showing where I traveled on Day 3. I have updated the previous two blog entries to include maps also. 

Map of Day 3:

E - Greymouth. F - Westport. G - Nelson. H - Picton

I set off from Greymouth late on in the morning, it was pushing 11am. I had allowed myself a lie-in, a leisurely breakfast and plenty of time to do some blogging on the cheaper than usual internet that was available at the hostel.

Ahead of me was the drive up the rest of the West Coast and then the drive across the top of the South Island to Picton, where I would stay the night before my ferry trip across Cook Straight to the North Island.

The drive from Greymouth to Westport was pretty warm, and at times downright too hot. Again, the sky was cloudless, and in places the tar in the road was looking and smelling a bit melty. As can be expected there were the usual suspects of spectacular sights and great roads to drive.

Something which is a massive deal to everyone travelling in NZ, not just geologists, is having a look at interestingly shaped rocks. Along with what seemed like thousands of tourists, clogging up the road with their rented camper-vans and motor-homes, I stopped at Punakaiki to have a look at the famous Pancake Rocks. They were interestingly shaped yes, but did not immediately remind me of pancakes. Maybe because when I am around, pancakes very rarely exist stacked on top of each other in piles. They are usually out of the pan and down the gullet too quickly to gather in an organised fashion on one’s plate.

Here are the rocks anyway:

And here is a 'blow hole', also shaped by the elements:

It was all very dramatic and impressive.

At Westport, I stopped to refuel the car and for the first time this trip, succumbed to the snack aisle in the petrol station shop. It was a bad idea, as I knew it would be. Eating sweets, crisps, chocolate etc. whilst driving on a hot day not only makes the gear stick sticky but also makes me thirsty and therefore causes the number of piss-stops to double. Never useful when you want to crack on to your next destination.

The next destination was Nelson, the thriving town at the top of the South Island. But Nelson itself, a nice enough place, was nothing compared to the drive there. Motoring along through numerous national parks along the spectacular Buller River was great. There was less traffic on the road and the weather was gorgeous and for the first time I reached into the glove box and pulled out 'The Lord of the Rings Complete Soundtrack'. The ideal accompaniment to the awesome landscape surrounding me. 

I stopped off once or twice to take some photos of the river. 

As you can see there are a lot of trees.

At Nelson, after a short stretch of the legs and a refilling of the water bottle, I set off straight away for Picton. I don't have much to say about Nelson because I didn't really hang about. There was a good looking beach though. 

The road between Nelson and Picton had even more trees. This time instead of indigenous bush, it seemed to be the centre of a pretty serious logging industry and lines of pines covered the hills. There were some more testing corners and steep hills to negotiate, resulting in a lack of photographs. Gavin the Avenir continued to perform admirably though. 

Every time I stop for a leg stretch, food or to fuel up, I tend to have a look at my map and check I am on route and to look ahead at where I am going. It has all been very simple so far, I have been on basically the same road since I started. Nearing Picton though, I either missed a few turns or took a few that I wasn't supposed to because I ended up driving by no means the most direct route through the famous wine area of Marlborough. 

With hundreds of different vineyards and producers, it is one of NZ's major wine producing areas, Hawke's Bay being another, and central Otago (near where I am based) also produces some top quality grape juice. 

Eventually arriving at Picton at about 1900 hrs, I was pleasantly surprised to find a delightful little waterside town complete with a small port, although dominated by the ferry terminal. Picton is situated looking out to the mysterious and very photogenic Marlborough Sounds, a collection of rugged spits of land and interesting inlets. 

I took a few photos of the harbour area, the last one shows the ferry that I would be on before sunrise the next morning. 

It was a beautiful evening with a warm wind and a peaceful atmosphere over the town. So I went to the pub. 

Seamus's Irish bar is a great little pub that did a good stew and served beer in a proper pint glass, not a kiwi style one with a handle.

I wanted to stay there longer but I had to check in for the ferry at 5:25 am. 

Which is where the next blog post will pick up from...

Please, keep on telling your friends, family and colleagues about my blog. The more people that read it, the more worthwhile it seems taking a few hours to update the world on my exploits.

And don't forget, you can follow me on Twitter @FLawder.

31. The Road to Hobbiton - Day 2

Day 2

The day in numbers:

358.6 km driven.

Corners that were sharper than expected: 47

7 near brushes with death. 

Glaciers seen: 2

3 baby kiwis seen.

Percentage of kiwis seen that were wild: 0%

Day 2 Map:

C - Haast. D - Franz Josef (glaciers). E - Greymouth

I set off from Haast bright and early, heading North up the West Coast. Again the weather was perfect and the morning sun gradually burnt off the hazy mist that was hanging around. With the forest-covered mountains on my right and the ocean on my left I drove on, in an uncharacteristically good mood. 

The scenery was (Clarkson mid-sentence pause), just breathtaking. 

As I headed up the coast towards the glaciers Fox and Franz Josef, I munched away on what I thought would be perfect for this kind of trip. A bar that is billed as 'One Square Meal'. It says that it contains 1/3 of all my daily requirements of energy, carbs, fats, protein, etc etc. I remain unconvinced. It definitely didn't replace any meals. 

Look how small it is! To fit a meals worth of food in a packet that size, it would be as dense and as heavy as lead. It isn't. 

When I reached Fox Glacier, I took a little detour down a side road through the forest to a 'viewing point'. It was all trees, ferns and moss, until suddenly a gap in the undergrowth revealed the glacier. There is something about glaciers, they are very impressive, maybe it is because they are so ancient.

I drove round to the other side of it, where you could walk up to the ice and take a closer look. It is a way better glacier than the Tasman Glacier near Mt Cook, as glaciers go anyway. Signposts recommended sturdy walking boots, a weeks supplies and a native guide with a pick-axe. I made do with my flip-flops (NZ translation: jandals) and the ability to walk up a small hill unaided by ropes and crampons.

A little further down the road from Fox Glacier is Franz Josef Glacier, I had already decided I prefered Fox because Franz Josef sounds suspiciously foreign. I went to take a look, it was getting pretty warm now. As both a mad dog and an Englishman, I went out in the midday sun and took a few snaps. (That was my very first Noel Coward reference in anything I ever written, I hope you all appreciate it!) 

This water is called Peter's Pool, and is a kettle lake, formed by a big block of ice left behind by the glacier. 

The peace and tranquility of the great outdoors is something I love, but could not find here. It was genuinely spoiled by the constant barrage of helicopters ferrying tourists to the glacier and back. I am sure they get a great view, but it did rather ruin my experience a bit. The helicopters also ruined my lunch. I had a local delicacy, a whitebait pattie, which itself was very nice, but I couldn't hear myself think over the sound of choppers taking off and landing right at the centre of the town. 

I also went to a mini-zoo in Franz Josef, and saw three baby kiwis in a darkened room. They were as cute as expected, with their long beaks and no arse, but photography was not allowed, and I am not a rule-breaker. I still would rather see a wild one though. 

I drove on and after a few close shaves, negotiated some serious 180 degree hairpin corners in the road. It was good fun to drive though. The car has very soft suspension and rocks like a boat round corners. Going round sharp corners faster than 30 km/h causes the body of the car to bank pretty significantly. 

After a pleasant afternoons drive through some old wild west gold-mining towns, and past a few smallish looking jersey herds, I got to Hokitika. It seemed a pretty nice seaside town, with a Wild Food festival coming up that I am disappointed to be missing. On the beach, as all along the coast here, there was a ton of driftwood. And a few artistic types had taken the time to construct some impressive sculptures. My favourite was this one, of a lizard fishing. 

This one of a bird in flight is a professional job, I reckon!

A relatively short drive up the coast, and I got to my end destination for the day Greymouth. The barmaid in Haast had not given the place a glowing review and I could see why. It is very much the industrial centre for the West Coast. 

It did however have some interesting looking wet lands, which I explored with the use of a kayak from the hostel. I nearly fell in getting onto the craft, but once I got going it was great. 

I used a heap of my insect repellent which kept off the worst of the biting bugs, and chased a heron around for a while. 

Righto, I am off to the very top of the South Island today, plenty of miles ahead of me so I had better get going. I will leave you with a photo of me taking the most risky self shot ever. It very nearly resulted in an early bath. The heron would have been unbearably smug.

30. The Road to Hobbiton - Day 1

Day 1

The day in numbers:

501 km traveled.

Clouds in the sky when I set off : 0

3 hitchhikers ignored.

Hitchhikers picked up: 1

317 sandfly bites.

Bottles of insect repellent bought: 1

Map of Day 1:

A- Oamaru (home). B - Wanaka. C - Haast.

Well I set out from home only an hour and a half later than planned, which meant my detours for the day were limited. With five hours of driving ahead, the tank was filled to the brim, and then after I had eaten my breakfast I set off. 

I managed to call in a few favours from the big guy upstairs and get some perfect weather. The sky was cloudless, and road conditions perfect. I took a few practice 'snapping-while-driving' shots through relatively familiar Lindis Pass, and they turned out OK. This is a skill that is necessary for this trip because if I stopped at every photogenic view it would take me a matter of years not days.

My first stop was scheduled to be at the lakeside town of Wanaka, but I stopped about 30 km before the town to pick up a hitchhiker. She was Brazilian and was called either Margo or Marlo, I am not sure. She asked me what I was doing in NZ, I explained I was milking cows out here so I could learn the Kiwi way of dairy farming. She asked me what the difference was between NZ and UK dairy farming. I think she very quickly regretting asking me that. After 10 minutes of low input vs high yield she tried to change the subject but I wasn't having any of it!

At Wanaka, a word not to be rushed, Margo/Marlo jumped out of the car before I had even put the handbreak on. It is a nice little town and I ate my lunch and took a few photos of the lake.

Driving between Lake Wanaka and Lake Hawea, I spied a seal out of the corner of my eye. Unfortunately it was not the marine mammal, but the rubber door seal falling off. This brought about the first bit of Top Gear style roadside maintenance.

Tail tape is probably the most useful thing that exists. In my relatively short farming career I have used it for everything, from bandaging burns to waterproofing ex-waterproofs. 

In my opinion Lake Hawea is much better than Lake Wanaka, I drove along a very bumpy gravel road with signs that warned of my immanent death. I took some pretty awesome photos here.

Once back on the safe main road, it was prime conditions for snapping-while-driving. The photos of the lake with mountains behind can be added to my already massive collection of lake + mountain shots. It's as if I have never seen a lake and a mountain together before. 

Once past the two lakes and onto the exciting and winding road that is Haast Pass, the mountains become very treey/forrested/woodish. The clouds ahead looked ominous, and threatened a turn in the weather. Either the road rose to nearer their level, or the clouds decended to the road, I was worried I had had the best of the weather already. It started trying to rain, that kind of heavy mist that isn't really rain yet. When it is at the point between having the windscreen wipers off or on the lowest wipe rate setting.

I think we will find Gavin the Avenir posing in front of quite a few impressive vistas as our journey progresses. 

The worst of the did weather hold off thankfully, and I got to enjoy swinging the station wagon around the corners. Overtaking campervans became a major highlight of the drive.

I pulled over at a sign that said 'Blue Pools' and thought I'd take a look. It is good to get out of the car and stretch the legs. After a short stroll I came across the pools, that were as advertised, very blue. 

Although the walk was nice, going into the beech forest, in shorts and t-shirt and lightly perspiring from sitting in a hot car has its dangers. I was immediately attacked by the force of nature that are sandflies. I was savaged by them, insect repellent was the first thing I bought at the shop in Haast. The nasty little buggers are tiny black flies that you don't notice are on you until they bite. Once one has bitten, it releases chemicals into the air attracting his mates to come and sample the buffet.  

I drove on and crossed a bridge with a very dramatic name, 'The Gates of Haast', it was one of the many single lane bridges that have a right of way sign. It seems as though your average Haast Pass driver does not understand the concept of right of way, and drives on when it is not theirs, and waits when it is. 

On the subject of bridges, and water passing below the road, I have noticed whilst driving in NZ, that every stream, creek, culvert and ditch that goes under the road is named and signposted as such. As there are so many, I can understand a lack of imagination. I drove over 'Fish River' today. I wonder how they came up with that one.

Eventually I reached Haast, where there is literally nothing. I checked into my hostel, and went for a bit of a drive to the beach and to have a look at the Tasman Sea. Here it is from the point of view of a grain of sand. I had eventually reached the West Coast!

Driving back to the hostel, I saw a little way ahead, a huge hawk feeding on some roadkill (my favoured term is actually road-pizza, but I wasn't sure how many of you would appreciate it). It, I think a Harrier, flew off as I approached. I badly wanted a photo of it, so I parked the car near the dead possum and waited for it to come back. It didn't so here is the picture of the poor chap.

Don't feel sorry for it, they are an invasive introduced species that carry bovine TB, and are very highly populated with no natural predators. 

Although I have just said there is nothing in Haast, there is actually a very good pub/restaurant called Hard Antler. I had an excellent venison casserole there, if you are ever in the area check it out. 

I went to bed early to get a good night's sleep ahead of another days peddle to the metal. The bed was about a foot too short (and I am not a tall man), and the mattress was pancake thin. I could feel all the slats of the bed through it. If I was a princess, I would have definitely felt the pea. 

Right I should go to bed now. I may write up Day 2, which is just ending now, tomorrow. It will include more impressive scenery, lots of ice and a kayak. 

I'll keep you posted.

(Follow me on Twitter for regular updates: @FLawder)